Simply Surviving

When something major happens in our lives it changes us. We begin to believe what we see, instead of what really is. Women are easily swayed to believe whats in front of us. We do this because we are afraid of whats really there.
What is there? Nothing. Lies. All the lies that a person begins to believe gets blurry to the point that you become unsure of what is actually going on. The pain caused by the lies that your forced to believe become the most agonizing thought that crosses your mind. You fear sleep because you fear the dreams. The dreams turn to nightmares, the nightmares dont fade. The nightmares continue to drone on and on, with no end in sight. Its like a knife that stabs into you, one that cant be removed by anything. But eventually this knife has been dug into your heart so far, and left for so long, that it becomes numb. You become numb. Numbness is something you begin to look forward to. You find that numbness and everythings getting better slowly.
After a while, it doesnt matter. Youve been hurt one time, and you lose a piece of yourself. Thats a part you will never get back, and a part that later on when you begin to trust someone else again is gone. Its not fair to anyone that loves you, and trusts you not to get your full trust. You begin to realize the person who lied to you.. has broken you.
I know I shouldnt be hurt by any of this.. but I am broken. There are parts of me that he stole, that I will never get back. It kills me to know that I will never be who I was. He has stolen my heart. I was robbed of the joy I had for life. Ive been drug through the thinkest sorrow my heart has ever known. But through all this I will survive. Women were meant to be stronger than men for this reason. Men are the lowest, most unsensitive creatures on this earth. They tear about their creators, and their only means for survivol. Without women men wouldnt exsist.
When your broken, as I am.. You begin to believe in strange things. Angels for me. I believe that I am being tested. I know I am a kind person, and there isnt anything wrong with me, and someday someone will love me as me. Eventually someone will come along that wont lie and hurt me. I just hope theres enough of me left to share with them. But until then, I just breathe in, and breathe out. I will survive. You may have broken me, but you did not kill me. Thank you for showing me.. Im worth more. Im better. And Im going to survive anything. Ive been to hell and back. There is nothing that can get to me now. Ive gotten this amazingly strong amour. Im supported by the people who truly love me and truly want to be there for me. Those who have always been there, and will always be there. My family, and friends.
I hate that you had this affect on me. But Im proud to say I survived you.